Return of the Prince

In the late 1990s, I got my first email account. Every so often, I’d receive an email, as everyone did, from a Nigerian prince who wanted to make me rich beyond my wildest dreams. All I needed to do was send him some money and bank routing numbers, and it would all fall into place. It seemed counterintuitive, I know, but maybe I should’ve trusted the prince. He seemed nice. Alas, I never took him up on his generous offer. Had I done that, I’d no doubt be a wealthy man now.

Recently I’ve received a spate of emails from enthusiastic readers who claim to absolutely love my work. The emails sound generated by an LLM, but no matter. They wish to make me rich: all I must do is fork over a few hundred dollars for publicity purposes, you see, and then my book sales will be off the charts and I’ll be raking in millions.

I was invited to a discord server, which I visited, out of curiosity. Who is running this scam, I wondered? I was greeted by a few people with handles like “Bookreader953” who told me how much they loved my work. When I asked what they loved about it, they couldn’t quite say. But they knew it was great, and I suppose that’s all that matters.

After this exchange, I logged onto my blog and saw that I had recently received a lot of hits from—you guessed it—Nigeria, as well as India and Pakistan. I’d never had anyone who’d visited my blog from those nations before, since my book was published by a small press without an international presence. But hey, I am always open to new readers.

I guess the Nigerian prince never went away. All these years, he’s been plotting new ways to make me rich.

Fail Better

Many years ago, when I was taking a graduate creative writing workshop, a well-known novelist instructor of mine commented that my story, set on a college campus, did not compare well with similar books by Philip Roth, Jane Smiley, Richard Russo, and other exemplars of the genre. She was correct. My story was in no way up to that lofty standard. But perhaps, since I was an earnest young student, she might have been kinder, instead of comparing me to some of the most famous writers of the day. This particular instructor had a reputation of being this way with everyone. In fact, most creative writing professors I encountered had this same reputation, causing me to stop taking such workshops after awhile. Even so, I took these sorts of criticisms personally. I should not have done that, but I think most young writers do.

I recently saw the obituary for this person and thought it was sad. She may have been a terrible teacher, but maybe she was a good person. Then I thought that her passing really didn’t rate up there with the deaths of the true, all-time literary greats, if that’s what we are to measure lives by.

I’ve been writing and submitting for decades now. I’ve had some modest success. To be blunt, in my experience, most of the writers and creative writing professors I’ve met have been ungenerous, competitive, petty, and small minded. If and when you meet a mentor or friend in the field, you should consider this very lucky indeed. It’s everyone for themselves.

The creative writing workshop at the MFA level was a particularly odd experience. The idea, I was told again and again, was to ‘respect the work,’ yet in my classes there was little respect or support given by instructors or other students, all of whom were usually desperate to impress the professor, a person who had met with some sort of literary success at some point in their career.

What no class or instructor can do is give you the drive to write better stories. This motivation has to come from within. And in my experience, creative writing programs do almost nothing to help you navigate getting an agent or making any commercial sales, mostly because the professors have no idea how to accomplish this.

So, you write stories because you want to do it–you enjoy it and it brings you satisfaction. For most of us, we may meet with some success, or maybe not, but that becomes almost beside the point. If you meet a generous writer who wants to help you along in writing endeavors, be thankful. To quote E.B. White at the end of Charlotte’s Web: “It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.”

Short Story, ‘Chess Match’

A new story of mine, Chess Match, was just published in the October issue of Black Sheep: Unique Tales of Terror and Wonder. It’s a tale of an ancient being living in our world, who must face down an old adversary. Check it out, and let me know what you think.

The King of Dogwood Street, Chapter Three

In the last installment of The King of Dogwood Street, (a comedy of good, evil, and home improvement), Billy Joe had a day of reckoning when the police showed up to put an end to his drunken property destruction.

In chapter three, he and his dimwitted buddy, Travis, are in the town lockup trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Will they escape? What charges might they face? Will they drive their arresting officer crazy? And will Billy ever overcome his hangover? Read on to find out!

If you missed previous installments, you can find them below:

Storytelling Panel in Poughkeepsie

If you are in the Poughkeepsie area, stop by the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship this Sunday, where I’ll be part of a panel on storytelling. It’ll be a fun time, and there will be books for sale from the authors on the panel. https://www.uupok.org/welcome/upcoming-events

Happy New Year!

The King of Dogwood Street, Chapter Two

As promised, here is chapter two of my novel, The King of Dogwood Street, a neighborly comedy of good, evil, and home improvement.

When we last saw our heroes, they were in conflict with a drunken neighbor Billy Joe, who was challenged by Rex, a strange newcomer. Enraged by his defeat, Billy sought vengeance in the form of petty vandalism.

In Chapter two, the police arrive to the scene of the crime, and Billy must fight both his own stupidity and his hangover to avoid charges. The rest of he neighborhood happily watches the drama unfold. Read on!

If you missed the first chapter, it’s also uploaded on the blog for your reading enjoyment– please see the links below. If you enjoy it please share and let me and others know what you think.

https://christuthill.wordpress.com/2024/06/19/new-project/

Farewell, Summer

The end of summer is upon us. Sigh. I had a wonderful time, but it is always too short. I got to see some old friends, and spent plenty of time with my children, which is always endless fun. My oldest and I took a few long hikes in the Catskills, which is something I love to do more than almost anything in the world. We had family camping trips in Watkins Glen and in the Catskills and in Cooperstown, and all of them were memorable times we’ll always recall with fondness.

I got some reading and writing done, but not as much as I’d hoped or planned, and now with the semester beginning again there will be less time to do those things, unfortunately. I’ll be posting some reviews of things I read, including David Lindsay’s unique fantasy novel A Voyage to Arcturus, which was odd and engaging in the best ways. Played some great boardgames with my children, too.

I saw a few movies with my children, and also made the decision to cancel every streaming service I have. The only one that survived was PBS, and Amazon Video, which is included with Prime anyway. These things add up so quickly that our streaming bills were as bad as our cable box used to be, once upon a time. With all of the dvds and videos I own, plus all the free content out there, we’ll never lack for something to watch, and anyway I should spend any time I was watching television working on my book.

Speaking of which, there was also a near miss with a couple of publishers, but my new book is still without a home. I’ll keep at it in the querying trenches. One hybrid publisher seemed like a possibility but after my last experience with a small press I got cold feet at some of the contract details, and will just continue looking for representation or a publisher. This is no easy task, as everyone knows, and as authors I know are quick to tell me. But so it goes.

In the meantime, I’ll continue posting chapters of the new book here.

I’ll leave off with two photos of my son, Forest, a thoughtful, curious and all around wonderful lad, who has brought me nothing but pride and happiness. The first photo was ten years ago, and the second was a couple of weeks back. Both are at the same spot on a trail I love to hike as often as possible. It’s one of those magical, gorgeous places in the Catskills where I would live, if it were an option.

Time flies. Forest is a keen observer of nature, and on both hikes, as a one year old and as an eleven year old, he remarked often on all the beauty and natural drama we witnessed, from deer to eagles to bees and flowers. Remarkable boy, and I’m a lucky guy.

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower 

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 

And Eternity in an hour” –Blake, from Auguries of Innocence, 1803

Facebook is Terrible

Since 2006 or 2007, I’ve been on facebook, for better or worse. I was happy to reconnect with old friends, and make a few new ones. I built up an author page there, and helped run a conference page that had over 700 followers.

Last week, my account was compromised. Facebook locked the account, and has now suspended it. I have no way to get back into this account I’d built over the past 15 years. All the work that went into building up those pages is gone. Despite repeated attempts to contact the facebook help center, no one responds to my messages.

I know this is my own fault for dealing with facebook in the first place, but it was a convenient and easy way to connect with readers and those interested in the conference. However, facebook has deemed me in violation of their terms of service because of this hack, and that’s that. It feels a bit like Judge Dredd, quite draconian.

I guess I’ve learned not to try and build something like that again on facebook. I’ve created a new account to try and connect with friends and family again, but the platform is way too unreliable to use for a small business or educational site. Better to just stick to wordpress, where I at least have control over things.

Facebook’s many issues have been well known for years, yet many of us continue to use it out of convenience. However, with all the problems for users over the past months, they may be charting a path to irrelevance. Already, no young people I know use it. Give it a few more years and it’ll be like myspace or google+.

A shame all that work has disappeared into the ether, but so it goes.

Chapter 1, Part 2

In the opening of my new story, we met the denizens of Dogwood Street, a suburban neighborhood, including:

Billy Joe, a drunken reprobate

Simon, a professor

Rex, a strange newcomer who has moved into an abandoned house

Rex has arrived in the midst of Billy Joe’s noisy, drunken stupor, and put an end to it. In the next part of the story, the conflict is ramped up…read on!

If you missed part one, here is the link.

New Project

Here’s the start of something I’ve been working on for awhile. It was supposed to be out this fall, but my plans fell through, and I’ve been looking for a new publisher.

This one is a dark fantasy/comedy about a neighborhood gone bad. Think ‘The ‘Burbs’ meets Haunting of Hill House, with a touch of Something Wicked This Way Comes. I’ll be sharing chapters of it here in the coming weeks.

If you enjoyed what you read, please comment and let me know, and share it.

And Happy Solstice!