I imagined for a moment that I was trying to describe today’s entertainments to an alien from another planet:

“There are two teams of exceedingly manly men. They will fight over a ball. A large crowd of people pay thousands of dollars each to witness the spectacle. Many, many millions more will waste an evening at home to witness it, broadcast on large screens. A very great many males wish they were just like these gladiators. They watch their every move and speak of them endlessly, ignoring everything else around them.”

“Are these gladiators playing for money? For their lives?”

“For money, and fame.”

“They’re trying to lift themselves out of poverty?”

“No, most of them are fabulously wealthy already. But forget about that for a moment. There is something else at work here. A world-famous, glamorous singer is at the event. Her mate is a celebrated player. She is very happy when he does well. It brings her joy.”

“OK.”

“This makes many men watching the spectacle at home insane with rage.”

“Why?”

“No one knows why. But these middle-aged, portly, lonely men are so, so angry. And these same men also wish for a dictator to take over their land.”

“What does a dictator have to do with the famous entertainer?”

“No one knows. But they say it is an enormous conspiracy.”

“To what end?”

“No one knows. ‘Tis a mystery, traveler.”

“What happens when the game is over?”

“The side that wins is very happy and they gain fame and riches. Everyone else must go back to work.”

“What about the singer?”

“No matter what happens, she remains rich and famous and enrages the lonely old men.”

“Why?”

“As I said, ‘tis a mystery.”

“You live in a strange world, sir.”