Tag: family

Free Range Childhood

On By Christopher TuthillIn Summer, Young AdultLeave a comment

I spent lots of time with my kids camping and at the beach this summer, as I do most years. Something I noticed, that I hadn’t seen in past years, was packs of very young, free-roaming kids hanging out and doing things without adult supervision. I mostly grew up this way, and I think this style of parenting is back in fashion thanks to writers like Jonathan Haidt, whose criticisms of childhood by screen are exactly right and worth reading about.

Where he and other parents fall badly astray, in my opinion, is in this free roaming childhood movement. Plenty of well-intentioned, educated parents are heading in this direction. They can do as they wish, but I will never join their ranks, for reasons I’ll explain in a moment. Haidt even writes in his book about letting his 14-year-old go from Flushing, Queens to the upper west side unattended in the wee hours of the night, which caused me to think he is insane, despite his good intentions. I’ve done trips like that myself as an adult and felt myself lucky to get home without being harmed, though I was verbally threatened and had a man expose himself to me on one such trip in my college days. Granted, this was in the pre-gentrification days of NY, but even so, I’d never let a child of mine wander around the subways after hours until they were at least 17 or so.

Haidt and others insist that the free roaming childhood is a wonderful thing, that it’s perfectly safe and has many benefits. I had a childhood like this myself, and it wasn’t so bad. We didn’t know anything else in the 80s, when I was a boy—my parents just let us ride bikes and go all over creation alone. We returned when we were hungry or thirsty, and that was that. Everyone did it. I do think it was healthier than playing video games all day.

However, –and this is a big caveat: I was personally acquainted with several children who never made it to adulthood because of this environment. That’s right: they died as unsupervised kids because no one was there to protect them from doing dangerous things. Forget the boogeyman. Forget far away stories of missing kids. I saw this up close and personal, so I’ll thank you to shove your one-in-a-million statistics somewhere else.

Last week I saw a group of 6 kids, none of which could have been more than five or so, hanging out by the beach where we camped. No adult in sight, except me. I watched to make sure none of them did anything dangerous. Probably they’ll all make it to adulthood.

Make of this what you will. Free range however you like, it’s no skin off my nose. I’ll be there at the beach, watching my kids to make sure they don’t drown.

In case you’re wondering, no, I’m not a helicopter parent, but I don’t like being told I’m too protective by some yuppie who read Jonathan Haidt and didn’t live through the death of loved ones or friends because no adult was around to protect them. Kids are vulnerable. They need supervision, whether they like it or not, and whether or not you find it inconvenient.

Here’s my suggestion: have them put the phones and video games down, and hand them a big, fat novel. Read it together. Do some swimming and hiking with them. Or let them play alone, but stay where you can see and hear them. That’s what I do and it works just fine. I intend to make sure they live to do dumb things when they’re adults old enough to take responsibility for their own decisions.

The Fantastic Four: Babies are Magic

On By Christopher TuthillIn Comic Books, Comics, Movies, Reviews2 Comments

These days, everybody is a critic. And every movie is based on a comic book, so there is plenty to criticize. I enjoy going to the movies with my kids, and consider the experience time well spent with them, no matter what. Even so, I have opinions, and now you’re gonna hear mine regarding the new Fantastic Four movie.

First off, let me say I’m pro family. I like babies very much and doted on my children endlessly. I still do, even though they’re not babies anymore.

“What the hell do babies have to do with Fantastic Four!” you might ask, and you’d be right to yell that at me. Well, the first half hour of this film consisted of a pregnancy test, an ecstatic mom and dad, and a fawning Thing and Human Torch constantly saying how they could not wait for the baby, how great it was that the baby was coming. How wonderful it will be to have a baby at Fantastic Four headquarters! Everyone exclaimed this, over and over. They make dinner and drink wine and talk about parenthood and read a book by Dr. Spock about child rearing and share many tearful, sensitive moments in anticipation of the new baby.

Oh, when are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?

I exaggerate, but not by much. Dr. what’s his name, Mr. Fantastic, ably played by the omnipresent Pedro Pascal, is worried he won’t be a good enough dad. He’s so very very concerned that the baby may be strange like he is, you see. He devises ways to observe the baby in utero. He is a loving father, a good person! You must know this. You better know this. He will be a GOOD DAD! Invisible woman frets and worries she may not be a good enough mom. She is going to be a GREAT MOM. We know this, she knows it. She worries and that is why she’ll be a perfect mommy. That baby has great parents!

Finally, a BAD GUY appears. His name is Galactus, and he’s pretty bad. But he’s given little to do aside from saying he wants to blow up the earth etc etc. UNLESS! And here’s the big twist: UNLESS he can have the baby! He dispatches the Silver Surfer to GET THAT BABY! The silver surfer is the coolest character in this film by a long shot. She gives not one fuck about babies or anything else, and just wants to fight the fantastic four. Thank you, Silver Surfer! You alone seem to know your assignment! Kick some ass!

Eventually there is a giant battle and NY is razed and the fantastic four defeat the bad guy. The baby, of course, has mystical magical powers and will enrich the fantastic four’s inner lives beyond their wildest dreams.

What happened to clobberin’ time? Well, there’s that fight scene, but as my son said, “Why did they wait almost two hours to get to the fighting?”

“I don’t know, son,” I replied, “I just don’t know.”

And we both wept.

As the end credits rolled, a sensitive folk tune played. It sounded like the singer was about to cry. It was all very touching, what with the baby and whatnot.

I think I would have had a better time just reading the old Jack Kirby comic. You will, too. I give this movie one star because the robot was kind of cool, and so was the Silver Surfer. The retro sets and graphics were neat. Otherwise, I don’t get why you spend a billion dollars on a movie and just talk about a baby the whole time.

No offense to babies.